Foolish Adventure

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Publisher: It’s finding the center of your story, the beating heart of it, that’s what makes a reporter. You have to start by making up some headlines. You know: short, punchy, dramatic headlines. Now, have a look, [pointing at dark clouds gathering in the sky over the ocean] what do you see? Tell me the headline.
Reporter: HORIZON FILLS WITH DARK CLOUDS?
Publisher: IMMINENT STORM THREATENS VILLAGE.
Reporter: But what if no storm comes?
Publisher: VILLAGE SPARED FROM DEADLY STORM.

“The Shipping News”

Short. Punchy. Dramatic. A good headline (or lack thereof) can make or break a newspaper article, and by the same token, can make or break your own copy.

According to Harald Weinreich, Hartmut Obendorf, Eelco Herder, and Matthias Mayer in the published article, “Not Quite the Average: An Empirical Study of Web Use,” web users read only an average of just under 28% of what’s on a page, whether that’s copy or advertising text. The percentage is higher with ebooks and courses, clocking in at about 46% (same citation). Still, that’s less than half of what you’ve carefully, painstakingly crafted being consumed.

Headlines Get Read

Contrast that with headlines, subheads, and section headers: nearly 90% of subheads are read in entirety. All headlines are skimmed at the same or greater rate. And if something from one of those headlines catches the reader’s eye, he or she is 78% more likely to read the copy beneath it.

It’s no surprise that a good headline can make or break not only your copy, but your customers’ comprehension of it, when you see figures like the one above.

While you’re writing, you may be tempted to skip the subheads, thinking of them more as an organizational tool or an afterthought than the main course — but the numbers don’t lie.

A good headline means more reading of the copy below it. Lose the laziness or the analytical attitude, and strap on your reporter’s hat, because you’re going to spare the village from the deadly storm while the clouds just gather on the horizon.

ACTION TASK:
If it’s easier for you, leave your chapter and subheadings boring while you’re writing. Don’t stress yourself out until the bulk of things are done. (If you’re a headline enthusiast or you’re very good at it — by all means, feel free to start while you’re writing the rest of the copy. Most of us just aren’t superheroes in that arena without lots of practice.)

When you’re ready to replace the placeholders with eye-catching, attention-grabbing subheads and titles, take a few minutes out to look at the headlines on the fronts of fashion magazines and really bad tabloids.

While I realize that spending too much time in the Inquirer section of the newsstand can cause you to actually lose brain cells — the one thing those rags do right is the headlines.

How many times have you been standing in line at the grocery store, only to find out that Bat Boy has flown back to terrified parents in a silent-winged radar rage? Or that you, too, can have all the men you’d ever want with the new all-egg diet? Probably quite a few, and while you may not really be interested in Bat Boy’s new rage diet, you did notice the headline…and that’s no accident.

Study the headlines that pop out at you.

What makes them stand out? The language, the wording, the misleading or dramatic promise in them? Rewrite a few, in your head, to practice: GARNER BETTER GAMS IN TEN DAYS (actual headline) can become GET BETTER JOINS IN TEN DAYS for your welding program, or WHY HE DOESN’T CALL YOU BACK (actual headline) can become WHY HE DOESN’T CALL YOU BACK on your section about getting clients.

Flex your headline writing muscles. Get in the habit of finding the heart of what you’re saying and presenting it in a concise, dramatic way that will wrangle the attention of your readers and focus it where it needs to be: on your amazing content.

TOMORROW:
Why your nonfiction practice should include a fair bit of fiction techniques (and we’re not talking about deception). We’ll learn to tell a good story, and why that’s so, so important. It’s all coming up tomorrow, so go save your village from the storm…and write some headlines when you’re done.

Elli and Tim